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  1. AlwaysWrite

    COWBOYS!?!?!?

    … but not last Sunday, although they're still in fairly good shape.
  2. AlwaysWrite

    COWBOYS!?!?!?

    Dear WAMO: I agree about next year … but in the present, it's not going to be easy against the Saints tonight.
  3. AlwaysWrite

    COWBOYS!?!?!?

    Dear WAMO: A week later, they may actually have the edge in the chase for the division title.
  4. AlwaysWrite

    One problem after another

    A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman at knifepoint and asked the man to hand over all their jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, "Brother, take anything you want, but PLEASE untie the ropes and free her; otherwise, there will be a big problem.” Thief...
  5. AlwaysWrite

    Something to remember grandpa by

    An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying, and he calls his grandson to his bedside. "Guido, I wana you lissina me. I wana you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?" "You...
  6. AlwaysWrite

    Plenty to eat where 'caravan' came from

    The Honduras government recently gave the people some good news and some bad news ... The bad news … There is nothing but manure left to eat The good news … There is plenty of it to go around.
  7. AlwaysWrite

    Expensive expansion

    The pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood in front of the congregation and asked for a pay rise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded, so would his salary. After six children, this started to get expensive, and the congregation decided...
  8. AlwaysWrite

    COWBOYS!?!?!?

    Dear WAMO: I, too, have been a Dallas Cowboys fan since way back (circa 1970), when the team still played in the Cotton Bowl … so therefore, you already know how my favorite NFL team is doing.
  9. AlwaysWrite

    Touchdown to remember: Florida player scores 6 points despite having cerebral palsy

    Many high-school football players go through an entire career without scoring a touchdown, but earlier this month, 18-year-old Chasen Leavitt from Sarasota, Fla., scored a TD, even though he has fought a battle with cerebral palsy all of his life. Was the scoring play premeditated? And does it...
  10. AlwaysWrite

    One way to lose weight ...

    A Texan is drinking in an Israeli bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. After he hangs up the phone, he orders drinks for everybody in the bar because his wife has just produced a baby boy weighing 25 pounds Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan...
  11. AlwaysWrite

    The good, the bad, and the ugly ...

    1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy 5 years ago. 2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She's a lawyer. 3. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. 4. Good...
  12. AlwaysWrite

    It put me in stitches ...

    I was sitting at a bar one night minding my own business, when a fat, ugly lady came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen." . I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer...
  13. AlwaysWrite

    A blind golf challenge ...

    … but what if Tiger uses the right club in the wrong hole(s)?
  14. AlwaysWrite

    The $3.99 breakfast special

    An elderly couple went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors' special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $3.99. "Sounds good," the lady said. 'But I don't want the eggs.." "Then, I'll have to charge you $4.49 because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her...
  15. AlwaysWrite

    A plane misunderstanding

    A British Airways plane left Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot was Chinese, and it was the first time they'd flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seemed to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reached cruising altitude, the Jewish captain...
  16. AlwaysWrite

    A blind golf challenge ...

    Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar, and Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?" Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad. I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now." Stevie: "I always find that...
  17. AlwaysWrite

    A comparison that demonstrates the absurdity of major-league baseball salaries

    Dear Greg T: In no way would I place any "blame" on the players (or their agents) for accepting such ridiculous salaries. I'm just saying that few, if any, of those players are deserving of such high-level pay. As for "overpaid poster boy" Chris Davis, if ANYONE in just about ANY profession...
  18. AlwaysWrite

    A 'hot air' political analysis

    A man and a woman in a hot air balloon realized they were lost. They lowered their altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. The woman shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help us? We promised friends we would meet them an hour ago, but we don't know where we are." The man checked his...
  19. AlwaysWrite

    And That's How We Roll

    … or a Diet Coke to top off a large pizza with the works!
  20. AlwaysWrite

    Hypnosis at the Senior Citizens Center

    It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Center, and after the community sing-along, it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist. Claude explained that he was going to put the entire audience into a trance. The excited chatter quickly turned to silence as Claude...
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