Humor ....

These
are actual comments made by South
Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:





1.
"You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
through."



2.
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you
wear them a while."



3.
"If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document." (My Favorite)



4.
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."



5.
"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the
bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)



6.
"You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything
I want to on the ticket, huh?"



7.
"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.
Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"



8.
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or
I'll give you another ticket."



9.
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"



10.
"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on
rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."



11.
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."



12.
"In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (
National
Crime
Information
Center )



13.
"Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"



14.
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to
write as many tickets as we can."



15.
"I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So
you know someone who can post your bail."



AND
THE WINNER IS....



16.
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign
here."












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=
 

9andaWiggle

Addicted Member
On the flip side, there was a guy who was speeding, and when the Trooper turned on the lights he decided to try outrunning him. Eventually the Trooper caught up and the guy relented, pulling over to the side of the road.

When the Trooper asked why he tried to run, the man replied, "Officer, last week my wife left me for a State Trooper, and I thought you were trying to bring her back!"

:Roflmao:
 
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