Scots (You Gotta Love Them)

Discussion in 'Bruce is Funny' started by bruce1156, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. bruce1156

    bruce1156 Member

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    An oldie but goodie.

    One day a Scotsman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

    “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.

    Suddenly, emerging from the surf is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

    She approaches the stunned man and says to him, “Tell me how long it’s been since you’ve had a cigarette?”

    “Ten years,” replies the Scotsman.

    With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Och – in the name of the wee man is that good!”

    “And how long has it been since you’ve had a sip of good scotch?” she asks him.

    Trembling, the castaway replies, “Ten years.” She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, “Tis absolutely fantastic!”

    At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”

    With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, “Oh, sweet Jesus! Don’t tell me you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”
     
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  2. WAMO

    WAMO Well-Known Member

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  3. bruce1156

    bruce1156 Member

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    WAMO, I like your shallow funny bone.
     
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  4. 9andaWiggle

    9andaWiggle Well-Known Member

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    That's what Imogen said too! :Roflmao:
     
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  5. WAMO

    WAMO Well-Known Member

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    HHEEEYYYY, WAIT A MINUTE...HUH?
     
  6. 9andaWiggle

    9andaWiggle Well-Known Member

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    :p:Roflmao::Roflmao::Roflmao:
     

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