The Rabbi: to stay or not to stay?


Addicted Member
At the Saturday morning service, the Rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There was a hush within the congregation. No one wanted him to leave because he was so popular.

Fred Goldstein, who owns several car dealerships, stood up and proclaimed, “If the Rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!” The congregation sighed in appreciation and applauded.

Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stood and said, “If the Rabbi will stays, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!” More sighs and loud applause.

Estelle Rubin, age 82, stood and announced with a smile, “If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex.” There is total silence.

The Rabbi, blushing, asked her, “Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?”

Estelle’s 90-year old husband, Abe, was now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replied: “Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, “F--k him.”