Abbott & Costello debate "The Vax"

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Bud: ‘You can’t come in here!’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Well because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick.’
Bud: ‘It doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘Well, why does that guy get to go in?’
Bud: ‘Because he’s vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But he’s sick!’
Bud: ‘It’s alright. Everyone in here is vaccinated.’
Lou: ‘Wait a minute. Are you saying everyone in there is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Yes.’
Lou: ‘So then why can’t I go in there if everyone is vaccinated?’
Bud: ‘Because you’ll make them sick.’
Lou: ‘How will I make them sick if I’m NOT sick and they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘But they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘So what the heck does the vaccine do?’
Bud: ‘It vaccinates.’
Lou: ‘So vaccinated people can’t spread covid?’
Bud: ‘Oh no. They can spread covid just as easily as an unvaccinated person.’
Lou: ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Look. I’m not sick.'
Bud: ‘Ok.’
Lou: ‘And the guy you let in IS sick.’
Bud: ‘That’s right.’
Lou: ‘And everybody in there can still get sick even though they’re vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Certainly.’
Lou: ‘So why can’t I go in again?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘I’m not asking who’s vaccinated or not!’
Bud: ‘I’m just telling you how it is.’
Lou: ‘Nevermind. I’ll just put on my mask.’
Bud: ‘That’s fine.’
Lou: ‘Now I can go in?’
Bud: ‘Absolutely not?’
Lou: ‘But I have a mask!’
Bud: ‘Doesn’t matter.’
Lou: ‘I was able to come in here yesterday with a mask.’
Bud: ‘I know.’
Lou: So why can’t I come in here today with a mask? ….If you say ‘because I’m unvaccinated’ again, I’ll break your arm.’
Bud: ‘Take it easy, buddy.’
Lou: ‘So the mask is no good anymore.’
Bud: ‘No, it’s still good.’
Lou: ‘But I can’t come in?’
Bud: ‘Correct.’
Lou: ‘Why not?’
Bud: ‘Because you’re unvaccinated.’
Lou: ‘But the mask prevents the germs from getting out.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but people can still catch your germs.’
Lou: ‘But they’re all vaccinated.’
Bud: ‘Yes, but they can still get sick.’
Lou: ‘But I’m not sick!!’
Bud: ‘You can still get them sick.’
Lou: ‘So then masks don’t work?’
Bud: ‘No. Masks work very well.’
Lou: ‘So how in the heck can I get vaccinated people sick if I’m not sick and masks work?’
Bud: ‘Look, just listen to the science, OK?
Lou: OK, what about the flu? It's been eradicated right?
Bud: yes, because masks and social distancing work!
Lou: they work for flu, but not for covid?
Bud: no, they work for both diseases
Lou: so how have we eradicated the influenza corona virus with masks and social distancing, but the covid corona virus still circulates freely? It's almost like it's spreading by another means...
Bud: oh don't start your tin foil hat antivax crap again Lou!
Lou: Bud, are you drunk? The unvaccinated people are healthy and not wearing a mask. The vaccinated people are wearing a mask, sick, and afraid of getting infected with a virus with a 99.997% survival rate, that they are fully immunised against. This is insanity Bud!
Bud: yeah, you are insane Lou. You not wanting to inject yourself with an untested experimental cocktail of pathogens is selfish. You are putting us all at risk!
Lou: how am I putting you at risk, and what is the risk exactly?
Bud: you won't get vaccinated. That creates a risk for me
Lou: so your medicine doesn't work unless I take mine?
Bud: correct. The vaccine only works if everyone takes it
Lou: but everyone CAN'T take it Bud. Why would I want to get vaccinated?
Bud: to be safe from the virus. So you don't have to wear a mask or social distance anymore
Lou: do you feel safe Bud?
Bud: no
Lou: can you still get infected?
Bud: yes
Lou: Can you still spread it?
Bud: yes
Lou: do you still have to wear a mask?
Bud: yes
Lou: do you still have to social distance?
Bud: yes
Lou: so again, why I should get the vaccine?
Bud: because we have to eradicate covid
Lou: how would the vaccine eradicate covid?
Bud: herd immunity
Lou: you do know that you can only get herd immunity through natural antibodies, right? Vaccines cannot possibly provide herd immunity.
Bud: flatten the curve
Lou: are you just throwing buzzwords at me?
Bud: long covid
Lou: you've lost your marbles, Bud...
 
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