The biggest thing for me is not that whitey shouldn't use certain derogatory language, nor is it a problem to think white people should value the lives of other races of people. My problem is when people demand respect at levels they don't give themselves.
If a word is derogatory, then don't use it. Anybody. If a race of people doesn't respect themselves enough to stop using derogatory terms toward each other, why should it matter what anybody says about them? If a race of people doesn't respect themselves enough to value their own lives, then why should it matter if nobody else does either?
I guess my problem is, don't bitch about your neighbor killing the grass by pissing on your lawn while you're standing in your yard taking a leak.