Brickguy221 (R.I.P.)
Member
I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid
having sex, like:"I'm tired." "I'm washing my hair."
"I've got a headache." "I'm your sister in law."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman in labor is in pain and screaming profanity at her
husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don't blame me!
I wanted to stick it in your ass, but N-O-O-O-O, you said that might hurt!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife.
She was delighted.
I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her.
She was ecstatic.
I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!
Women, I can't figure them out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born,
"I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son."
The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said, "I don't mean to be
rude either, but this is a pussy, not a fucking photo-copier."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Dr. Phil:
I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless
from my bedroom window.As I was jerking off, I turned to notice
my wife was just standing there, arms folded...watching me.
Is she a pervert or what?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy gets a call at work from the police telling him that his
house had been robbed. The offenders had also consumed all
of his beer and had raped his wife.
A moment of silence passes, then the guy says,
"I can't believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry for not calling you on New Year's, but I just got out of jail.
I was locked up for punching the shit out of this idiot at a party.
In my defense, when you hear an Arab counting down from 10
your instincts kick in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife just came in and said, "I don't know if I'm coming or going."
I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face you're going, because
Whenyou're coming you look like a fucking squirrel trying to whistle!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I saw a fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl named Penny.
Is that spooky or what?
having sex, like:"I'm tired." "I'm washing my hair."
"I've got a headache." "I'm your sister in law."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman in labor is in pain and screaming profanity at her
husband from her hospital bed. He says, "Hey, don't blame me!
I wanted to stick it in your ass, but N-O-O-O-O, you said that might hurt!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife.
She was delighted.
I spent another $2,000 on a nose job for her.
She was ecstatic.
I spent $2,000 on liposuction for her and she couldn't thank me enough.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blowjob for myself and she goes fucking nuts!
Women, I can't figure them out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother in law said to her son's wife when their baby was born,
"I don't mean to be rude but he doesn't look anything like my son."
The daughter-in-law lifted her skirt and said, "I don't mean to be
rude either, but this is a pussy, not a fucking photo-copier."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Dr. Phil:
I was watching my next door neighbor's wife sunbathing topless
from my bedroom window.As I was jerking off, I turned to notice
my wife was just standing there, arms folded...watching me.
Is she a pervert or what?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy gets a call at work from the police telling him that his
house had been robbed. The offenders had also consumed all
of his beer and had raped his wife.
A moment of silence passes, then the guy says,
"I can't believe they fucked my wife after only five beers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry for not calling you on New Year's, but I just got out of jail.
I was locked up for punching the shit out of this idiot at a party.
In my defense, when you hear an Arab counting down from 10
your instincts kick in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife just came in and said, "I don't know if I'm coming or going."
I said to her, "Judging by the look on your face you're going, because
Whenyou're coming you look like a fucking squirrel trying to whistle!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I saw a fortune teller the other day.
She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I fucked a girl named Penny.
Is that spooky or what?
