Tasteless Jokes Thread. (NSFA)

AlwaysWrite

AlwaysWrite

Addicted Member
Time to revive this Top 40 oldies music survey ...

Here's a Top 40 survey for Radio Station KSTD in Gonorrhea, Texas, and sister station KOCK in Box Canyon, Ariz. -- both at 690 ("The Big 69") on your AM dial?

1. CIRCUMCISION (The Four Skins)
2. LIP LICKER (The Pubics)
3. FIRST DIDDLE (Dick Stroker & The Tryouts)
4. CUM SOFTLY (The Ejaculators)
5. IT ONLY HURTS FOR A LITTLE WHILE (Will "Buster" Cherry)
6. LOG RHYTHM (The Math Debaters)
7. I MADE MY BROAD JUMP WHEN I POLED HER VAULT (Track Meat)
8. TRAPPED IN A BOX CANYON (The Lone Ranger)
9. TRY ME (The Gay Judges)
10. ORGAN ROCK (Harry Scrotum & The Genitals)
11. A PIECE IN THE VALLEY (The Brothers' Whore)
12. IF I HAD A RUBBER (Paul's Peter & Mary)
13. I'M IN THE NUDE FOR LOVE (Little Chilly & The Eskimos)
14. HANGING IT OUT (The Pistols)
15. SHE WAS MADE IN A BODY SHOP (The Hot Rods)
16. CUDDLING FOR CASH (Betweena Sheets)
17. CALL ME DADDY (Buster Rubber)
18. HOT DESERT TRAIL (Peter Dragalong)
19. SHOTGUN WEDDING (Tommy Testes & The Knockups)
20. SHE WAS FIRST DOWN (The Pigskin Five)
21. MY DING-A-LING IS OUT (Dick & The Zippers)
22. DON'T DROP THE SOAP (The Cornholers)
23. IT WAS A LONG SHOT BUT I GOT HER IN THE PIVOT (The Hoopsters)
24. WHO SWALLOWED THE CUM (The Sperms)
25. OEDIPUS IS BACK (The MF Trio)
26. PENIS POPSICLE (Dick & The Lickers)
27. LET ME CRAWL YOU SWEETHEART (Harry Hellgate)
28. WE ARE MASTER BAITERS (The Ferry Fishermen)
29. MENUSTRATION BOOGIE (Katie Kotex)
30. I LOST MY BALLS IN HER DUGOUT WHILE ON DECK (The "A" Rods)
31. HOLE IN THE MATTRESS (Mister Completely)
32. IF YOU BEAT MY TOM-TOM I'LL FIDDLE WITH YOU (The Chiefs)
33. COLD, COLD BOOBS (The Virgin Knockers)
34. SO LONG, CHERRY (Pierce Hymen)
35. RIGHT CLUB IN THE WRONG HOLE (Tiger & His Wedge)
36. ZIPPER RIPPER (The Gay Tailors)
37. WET DREAMS OF YOU (The Jackoffs)
38. WHO MADE THE MAID (The Hardons)
39. DREAMS OF URANUS (Hershey Highway)
40. I LAID HER CHRISTMAS BOX UNDER THE TREE (Santa's Midnight Riders)

DICK HIT OF THE WEEK: A PASS LED TO A SCORE IN HER END ZONE (The Brady Band)
FEATURED OLDIE OF THE WEEK: KNEE DEEP IN IT (The Latrine Stompers)
 
AlwaysWrite

AlwaysWrite

Addicted Member
Camila, Duchess of Cornwall, wore a pair of new shoes for her wedding. That night, when the celebration was over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me."

Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales tried the right shoe but the shoe would not budge. "Harder!" yelled Camilla, "Harder" ... and Charles yelled back: "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"

"Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried. Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh God, that feels so good!"

In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See! I told you with a face like that, she had to be a virgin!"

Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh God, darling! This one's even tighter!"

At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy! He served in the Navy. Once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral!"
 
9andaWiggle

9andaWiggle

Addicted Member
A black man and a white man are at the urinal at work. After a few moments of silence, the white man days, "Excuse me, but how did you get your dick to be so long?"

Kinda surprised, but choosing to screw with the guy, the black man says matter of factly, "It's easy. Every night I take some twine and tie 3 bricks to it and let 'em swing for 5 minutes, rest, and repeat. I do 3 sets per night. The weight stretches it out. You should try it."

A few days go by, and the guys are at the urinal again. The black guy asks, "You tried my suggestion yet?"

"Oh yes!" the white guy replies excitedly. "I'm seeing signs of progress. It's already turning black!"
 
sevenpin63

sevenpin63

Addicted Member
9andaWiggle said:
A black man and a white man are at the urinal at work. After a few moments of silence, the white man days, "Excuse me, but how did you get your dick to be so long?"

Kinda surprised, but choosing to screw with the guy, the black man says matter of factly, "It's easy. Every night I take some twine and tie 3 bricks to it and let 'em swing for 5 minutes, rest, and repeat. I do 3 sets per night. The weight stretches it out. You should try it."

A few days go by, and the guys are at the urinal again. The black guy asks, "You tried my suggestion yet?"

"Oh yes!" the white guy replies excitedly. "I'm seeing signs of progress. It's already turning black!"
Click to expand...
Omg LMAO
 
Greg T.

Greg T.

The Jizz Slinger
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron..

A Priest and a Rabbi run out of a burning school, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and says "What about the kids?!" The Rabbi says "Fuck the kids!" and the Priest says "Do you think we'll have time?".

How do they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head & Shoulders in the glove compartment.

What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip!
 
AlwaysWrite

AlwaysWrite

Addicted Member
[As unbelievable as it may seem, all of the following are word-for-word quotes issued by Big Hugh Baby (real name: Hugh Jarrett) as a disc jockey on 50,000-watt radio station WLAC in Nashville, Tenn., in the early 1960s. I'll never know how he got away with saying all those things, but finally, he did lose his job at WLAC when an FCC official happened to be monitoring the station and heard him -- in the middle of a White Rose Petroleum Jelly spot -- add that it might be a good idea for all the boys and girls to put a 50-gallon drum of White Rose in the back seat of their cars. His broadcast license was temporarily suspended, but after a time off the air, he resurfaced in Atlanta, and in years preceding his death, he had shifted his radio career to religion broadcasting. Early in his career, he was the bass singer with The Jordanaires, who backed Elvis Presley on most of his early recordings. At any rate, as I said, all of the following were stated on-air by Big Hugh Baby.]

* "I'm going to dedicate this next song to all the girls drinking beer on the beach in Florida tonight. I just hope they don't get any sand in their Schlitz."

* "Big Hugh Baby went to a health studio today. I worked out, I worked in ... in and out, out and in ... it was a beautiful experience."

* "From out of nowhere, there's a little man sitting on my lap. That ornery little man, he won't even move. Get off, you --- Why, that little guy just spit at me. Come now."

* [while introducing a commercial for Royal Crown Hair Dressing] ... "Let me talk to you chicks about your comfort zone, and you know how important your comfort zone is to Big Hugh Baby."

* " I'm going to send this next song out for all of those studs who have to do it artificially tonight. Here's Johnny Otis with 'Willy And The Hand Jive'."

* "We're gonna play a little soft music ... but Big Hugh Baby prefers HARD music, if you know what I mean."

* "We're gonna send out a big hairy Hugh Baby bird to the members of that new Hawaiian fraternity Kmon-I-wanna-lay-ya."

* "Here's a cute new novelty song. It's Allan Sherman with "Hello Muddah Fuddah."

* "My engineer is going to play the organ for a while, and he's become quite proficient at playing his organ. He's hoping to become a lawyer and right now, it looks like he's taking his bar exam. Whoops! His hand just slipped on his bar."

* "I know some ladies who are heavy smokers. But they have some good habits, too. They don't care where they lay their butts."

* "Lately, Big Hugh Baby has been experimenting with voodoo dolls, and if they're lucky, they'll feel the prick."

* "Alice and Gene are trying to get things together tonight. They're even trying to do it up on the roof, and here are The Drifters to sing about it."

* "A little cat just walked into the studio. Here, pussy, pussy!"

* "Big Hugh Baby picked up a chick last night, and we played a little basketball. It was a long shot, but I got her in the pivot."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top